Lead
singer, Rhythm guitarist, Fighter
Stumpy used to be a successful fighter, until a fairy cut off his arm. After that all of the groups that he joined kicked him out because he screamed like a girl whenever he saw the wussiest of creatures. All of that screaming exercised his vocal cords and gave him an adequate singing voice. He also has some minor guitar skills. Fighting with a sword and his constant "stroking of the castle tower" made him good with his hand.
Lead
guitarist, Evil mage
Frostee is an evil mage who joined our band because he had a guitar just sitting in his living room collecting dust. Frostee has only one problem; his uncontrollable urge to fireball almost anything that moves. This is great if you come across a group of thieves but horrible if your nephew just asks him to pass the rolls at the dinner table. Poor little Billy has never eaten rolls again.
Drummer,
Monk
Girdle is a recent addition to our band. We let him join after our previous drummer mysteriously burnt to death. Girdle is half-deaf, which makes him a horrible drummer. The only reason we let him join our band is because he is a monk and an excellent fighter...wait a sec...he's not an excellent fighter! In fact, he shouldn't even be in our band, he's not an excellent anything. My personal goal from now on will be to get him out of our band, even if I have to kill him.
Bass
guitarist, Halfling thief
This would be me! I'm perfect, except for the fact that I'm lazy, incompetent, a procrastinator, bossy, a prick, a thief, a liar, a halfling, and I can't even play bass guitar. (Have you ever seen a halfling that can even hold a bass guitar?) Other than that, I'm the best person in the group. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I want to kill Girdle!
Hairstylist,
Cleric
Sirus is our hairstylist, and while you think that a hairstylist might not be important, trust me he is. Much like the rest of us Sirus has his minor problems, one of which is his obesssesion with animals. If you could choose between "Spiritual Hammer", a kick ass spell that does a good deal of damage, or "Talk to Animals" a useless spell that lets you carry on a conversation with a badger or a grasshopper, which spell would you pick. (play Jeopardy theme here) If you chose "Talk to Animals" then I suggest that you make a trip to the nearest gun store, buy a pistol, and shoot yourself, thus ridding the world of yet another pussy!
Manager,
Elven mage
Naomi is our band's manager. Manager is just a shorter term for "lazy bitch who sits on her ass all day and tells other people what to do". This is basically what Naomi is. Though Naomi has several good spells, she so rarely uses them that they are completely useless, in fact, Naomi is completely useless, but Stumpy wants to bone her, so she must stay in our group.