If you do not read the previous 3 stories, I swear to God you will be completely lost. So lost that in your madness you will end up killing at least four innocent people.
--OVER THE RIVER OF RAMPAGE FROM WHICH NONE HAVE EVER RETURNED--
There ahead of us, 2 miles east of Large Central City, was the River of Rampage. Surprisingly enough the river was somewhat calm and clear. In fact several people were standing on the edge of the bridge over the river and casually fishing.
"This doesn't seem very rampage...ous" Girdle said, adding a non-exsistent word to his vocabulary. At that moment the fishermen looked up at us and simultaneously uttered the words of death...
"Are you happy with your religion?"
They were Medieval Mormons! They approached with warm smiles and
began talking about their beloved beliefs, this is when a mage with a
fireball spell comes in handy, and guess what, we had one of those.
It's not that hard to guess what happened next. Frostee sent them to their heavenly father. We stepped onto the bridge cautiously and approached the far side of the river. Suddenly thoughts started flowing through my head.
Morpheus's Brain: Push Girdle off of the
bridge now. He'll fall at least 50 feet into the shallow river below,
probably dying.
Little Angel on Morpheus's Shoulder: Don't do that, that
would be wrong.
Little Devil on Morpheus's Other Shoulder: Do it, you know
you want to!
Little Angel on Morpheus's Shoulder: Morpheus, please don't
do that, Anilla will never fall in love with you if you do something like
that.
Morpheus's Brain: Good point.
Little Devil on Morpheus's Shoulder: Yes, but what's more
important to you, some stupid chick or ridding yourself of the most
annoying person ever?
Little Angel on Morpheus's Shoulder: Come on, just look at
those sweet supple you knows, they're so much better than killing a good
party member.
Little Devil on Morpheus's Shoulder: You know that there are
at least a couple hundred other chicks as good as her. Morpheus:
You know what, you're right I'm going to kill Girdle right here and right
now!
Morpheus's Brain: You probably shouldn't have said that
outloud!
Morpheus: Dammit!
So then I dove towards Girdle, but it turns out that sometime while I was lost in thought, I had stopped and the party had continued on ahead of me. I was diving towards the edge of the high bridge and there was nothing there to stop me. Luckily I used my awesome dexterity to grab the edge of the bridge, but I could only hang there for so long.
"You guys!" I yelled, "You guys, I'm gonna die if you don't help me!"
My only answer was the sound of the crickets chirping as the sun sank into the horizon.
"You guys!" I yelled again, "One of you please come help me!"
Yet again there was no answer. Finally I pulled myself up onto the bridge, but I was lost, and my party had continued into the scorching desert without me.
--MEANWHILE...DEEP IN THE DESERT OF THE DESOLATE--
There they walked, deep in the heat of the desert.
"Look at me!" Girdle bragged loudly, "I'm a monk! I don't have to use weapons or spells to fight, because I can hurt things with my bare hands. I'm the best member of the party because I am a MONK!"
Frostee, Stumpy, Anilla, and Max, walked quietly behind Girdle as he continued his outrageous bragging, "Look at this robe! None of you guys have a robe like this, you know why? Cause this is a monk's robe! Only monks like me can where this robe."
Thoughts began flowing through Frostee's head.
Frostee's Brain: Fireball, fireball,
fireball...
Little Devil on Frostee's Shoulder: Do it! Oh how much fun it
would be...
Frostee's Brain: You're right little friend, I'll do it...
Little Angel on Frostee's Other Shoulder: Frostee, don't
fireball Girdle!
Frostee's Brain: Why not?
Little Angel on Frostee's Other Shoulder: Because you could
just knock him out and hide his stuff in those bushes over there. Save
your devastatingly powerful fireballs until you really need them.
Little Devil on Frostee's Shoulder: Hey, that dude over there
with the halo and the wings is pretty smart!
Frostee's Brain: You know what, I am going to do that.
And so then, Frostee pulled out his small sack of sling bullets and held it up high above his head. He brought the sack down with a devasting speed. The sack hit the Girdle in the back of the head with great force.
"Someone just hit me," Girdle said, moments before he collapsed on the soft sand ground.
Frostee immediately went to work. He took all of Girdles belongings and found a group of small cacti. Frostee buried the belongings deep in the cacti and left with Stumpy, Max, and Anilla.
That night, Girdle awoke, his face buried in the sand. He stood and looked around. For some reason he was terribly cold. He looked down and noticed that he was not wearing any clothes.
"What happened?" he asked. Then he realized that there was no one around. "Oh my god!" He said to himself, "they took my stuff and left me behind."
Girdle looked around again, then he spotted the pile of his stuff in a thick growth of cactus. He ran over to the cactus, paused a moment, and then dove right in to grab his stuff.
His screams of pain shook the silence of the night.
"What the hell?" He yelled, "these plants must be some kind of stinging monsters!"
Girdle started punching the monster plants, but it only hurt him more. Girdle finally escaped the monsters and fell to the sand and started rolling around to ease the pain of the monsters sting.
A long way away, Stumpy and Frostee started yelling and arguing about some trivial matter. Both of them thought that they were right, both were wrong. Their fighting escalated until they actually started throwing punches. This is when peace loving Anilla got pissed and decided to leave. She didn't want to stand up for Frostee, for fear of revealing her love of him.
"Frostee, you suck you fat little pig!" Stumpy yelled as he raised his sword and charged Frostee.
Frostee looked down at his thin frail body, "Fat?" he asked as he sidestepped Stumpy's charge. Stumpy plunged onward, his sword traveling right through Max's useless little bard body. Max lifted his lyre and strummed his last song.
Max's Death Song
Now the time hath come
for me to die.
I guess that, before I go, I should say goodbye.
But first I should tell you the complete truth.
Frostee, you have a hot ass, and I'm in love with you!
In love with you I
said,
But soon I will be dead,
The only thought in my head,
Is how I want you in my bed!
I can't believe I died
so young,
Sometimes life is the meanest!
You probably'd hate me anyway,
Cause' I've got a real small penis!
"OH MY HOLY GOD!" Frostee and Stumpy yelled simultaneously. They turned and ran as quickly as possible in the other direction. Max fell to the ground, dying, his eyes locked on Frostee's rear-end. Stumpy and Frostee sped by Anilla as they fled into the desert. Anilla ran after them and finally caught up. She told both of them to stop, they did. Anilla sat them down and told them to close their eyes and relax. While they did this, she quickly bound them together at the legs with a thin chian that she had and put a lock on it.
"What is going on?" Frostee questioned.
"Are you going to have sex with us?" Stumpy asked eagerly, "Are you a dominatrix? Yes? Cool. I've always wanted to sleep with a freak like you!"
"I'm not chaining you up so that I can have sex with you, it's so that both of you can work out your problems," Anilla explained, "In-party fighting really hurts the group!"
Anilla stood up and walked away.
"Anilla!" Stumpy screamed when she was out of sight.
"Anilla!?" Frostee yelled.
"Anilla!" Stumpy screamed again, "Please come have sex with us!"
Far off in the desert, they heard a muffled cry, "for the last time, No!"
"Dammit." Stumpy mumbled quietly.
As of this time the entire party, with the exception of Stumpy and Frostee, was split up. All of us were alone, and we would not see each other again until we reached the Hills of Happiness. The next entries in my journal will be several short recounts of each characters story, written by the characters themselves.